I’m sorry but that’s fucking hilarious
spiritual successor to “this is just to say”
The first time I heard my parents swear, I was about 6 and my dad and I were buidling something out of two-by-fours in the garage and he hit his thumb with a hammer and, naturally, yelled “SHIT!”
I stared at him.
He stared at me, eyes watering.
“Now listen,” he said, forcing himself to remain calm as he held his rapidly-becoming purple thumb. “-That’s a word we say ONLY when we’re Really, Really hurt. Now go get your mother.”
And for an improvised moment of parenting, that was actually brilliant because I was a clumsy, uncoordinated child and was basically constantly falling, running into walls, knocking shit over and generally sounding like I was involved in a fatal accident in the other room, but now my parents knew not to worry unless they heard the reedy voice of a pained elementary schooler shrieking “SHIT!”
My teachers on the other hand, were significantly less appreciative of my father’s genius.
(via nirogryphon)
